I don't want to give away any of the fortunes here.  Besides the REALLY COOL FLAVORS, the fortunes are one of the "hooks" of this product.  I can tell you one thing, it's not the tame stuff you normally get in fortune cookies, these are EVIL.

They are basically insults or evil fortunes.  I tried to get away from the basic insults like, "Your Mama Wears Combat Boots", and silly kid stuff like that.  I also tried to make them offend anyone, regardless of sex or age.  None of them are X-rated, but most have some kind of adult humor behind them.  There are also NO insults regarding race, religion, or nationality.

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PLEASE no more:
May the fleas of 1000 camels infect your armpits
That wasn't chicken
I'm trapped in a fortune cookie company warehouse

PLEASE NOTE:  Insure your insult is within the guidelines that we mentioned above.  You will not receive any financial compensation for your insults.  We have complete ownership of any Evil Fortune that you submit to us.  It is the submitters responsibility to insure there are no copyright or trademark violations of Evil Fortunes that you submit